Vintage Remembrance

Medyo paambon ambon ng gabing ‘yon kaya hinayaan na muna syang maglamyerda sa Isabel. Paminsan minsan lang naman mangyari. Kung dati eh ayaw nyang maglakad sa basang kalsada, ngayon pwede na. Kahit ano kaya nyang indahin makita lang si Salome. Halos hindi na sya makakain sa kakaintay kung kelan sya pupuntahan sa may pintuan na tinatambayan nya. Ngayon, pagkakataon nya na. Tiyak ang mga hakbang na pinuntahan nya ang bahay na kinaroroonan ng babae.

Amigo: Salome?! Nasan ka?

Salome: Hindi ako makalabas sa bahay Amigo. Natataranta na si inay sa mga kapitbahay na nagrereklamo sa dugo kung kumakalat sa mga bakuran nila. Dito na lang daw ako magkalat sa loob.

Amigo: Eh bakit nung kelan lang panay naman ang labas mo? Bat ka napayagan nun?

Salome: Asar din nun si inay dahil sa dami ng mga manliligaw na umiihi sa pader namin. Pinalabas nya na lang ako pra sa kalsada na lang daw ako makipaglandian. Eh alam mo namang ikaw lang ang natatanging gusto ko Amigo. Wala ng iba.

Amigo: Alam ko Salome. Pati ako nahihirapan din. Di ko na nakakain ang mga masasarap na hinahain sa akin. Kahit subuan pa nila ako. Di ako makatulog sa kakaabang kung kelan mo ko pupuntahan. Hindi din ako matinag sa kakatingin lang sa direksiyon ng kinaroroonan mo Salome. Sadyang mahirap ang mga panahong alam mong may minamahal ka pero di pwede.

Salome: Nung pumunta ako na may kasamang lalake sa tapat nyo, hindi ako nakikipaglandian dun. Sadyang makulit yung hayop na lalakeng yun at ayaw akong tantanan. Sunod nang sunod, hindi na nga umuuwi sa bahay nila yun eh. MAtagal na nga siguro syang hinahanp ng amo nya.

Amigo: Bakit kase ang lakas ng kapangyarihan ng amoy mo Salome. Abot hanggang saan saang kanto. Palibhasa paminsan minsan lang yan mangyari. Kaya nga sinsamantala ko na din.

Salome: Ewan ko ba Amigo. Nanganak na ako’t lahat, madami pa ding lalakeng nahuhumaling sa akin.

Amigo: Sige Salome. Mukhang wala na rin naman akong mapapala sa yo at nakakulong ka. Hihintayin ko na lang na lumipas ang pagkalat ng amoy mo. Sa makalawa baka wala na yan. TInatawag na ko ng nanay ko. Ayokong mabato ng tsinelas dahil lang sa pag liliwaliw ko sa gabi at paghahanap sayo.

( Abangan ang susunod na kabanata…)

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If ever I get married, my hubby and I will have joint accounts, I should know his salary and take home pay so we'll know our resources and how to budget them properly.. but I wouldn't question him re his personal expenses.. I would provide a budget for each expense item, but I will not frequently inquire on how he is spending the budget alloted for himself to use..
I will not ask for his atm during pay days so I'll be the first one to get hold of his money before everything is subtracted. The moment I'll do that signals my not trusting his ways, and my looking for evidences of his unfaithfulness.
I have a dream... my husband is the leader of our home, he oversees everything, and I do the legwork: on those pettly little things that an overseer does not spend much time on. My husband is there to support me, and lead me..
We'll both stand as pillars of our home. We'll stand as individuals with different sets of accountabilities but our goals are congruent. And that means we don't digress to a different agenda. I guess, God will then be there in the midst of us.

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I just wonder about friendship—how it could mean to us at this age.
It seems like some are fond of putting hierarchical titles to their relationship and not really meaning it. It’s nice calling someone a friend you know, but this title has become like a commodity that can be bought anywhere, through texting, partying, bar-hopping, chatting, e-mailing, and what have you. The value of the commodity would depend upon the person’s status, money, beauty, influence, and intelligence. The higher the value, the greater the possession one has, and the more influential he/she becomes in acquiring more of the commodity (whether opportunistic as he is or unsuspecting as the others). He then feels a surge of power coming in as he connects to more networks of friendship. He feels he belongs and that he is a part of the workings of a whole. He feels special, wanted, and then he feels happy.
Why do so many fight for the title of a “friend”? What’s the difference between calling someone a “friend” and an “acquaintance”? Some might be feeling empty within them and are just trying to fill the void or insecurity they feel with the camaraderie, loyalty, and pride that most friendships promise to offer. But listen to some of their exchanges, as to how they would laugh about nothing and argue about anything that has most oftentimes been talked about, as they share their views about the most recent trends, which are not that important in terms of feeding our hearts with good things.

That’s why I don’t easily find a friend. They just suddenly enter my life sometimes, and before realizing it, they have become a friend to me. I believe them to be heaven’s sent, they belong to me when they’ve already become part of my life. If they are not for me, I have discovered that they, themselves, can leave so easily as they came.

I can count my friends with my fingers, and that’s not bad at all, for I am proud of them.

--for I seldom find people who can really listen even when I can’t find enough words to speak my mind. I seldom find people who can really talk about their heart’s content, who will laugh at my unprepared jokes, and make me laugh too. I know that I will not always find people who will offer their help even when I don’t ask for them, who can empathize with my tears, and cry for my mistakes. I also know that not everyone will stay to protect me from harm, and to defend me against insult when I am not there.

We are fed by the people we surround our lives with. I hope our problems are not caused by starvation for the real thing.

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Ilang kandila pa ba ang matutunaw
Para masabing ika'y abot tanaw
Ilang umaga pa ang masisilayan
Ilang hatinggabing pag-aantay sa labasan
Ilang tulo ng pawis, ilan
Parehong nahihirapan
Datapwat patuloy pa rin
Ang pagtanaw sa kinabukasan
Na nangangako, at patuloy pa rin
Haharapin ang mga bukas na walang katiyakan
Kundi ang baong damdaming nag-liliyab
Habang sinusubok ng katagalan
Ng panahon, ang mga luhang tinago ng mga tawang naitapon sa hangin
Sapagkat patuloy pa rin ang magandang nasimulan
Habang tumatakbo ang panahon sa agos ng karanasan '
At patuloy pa rin, habang may hiningang
Magpapaikot sa ating mundo

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I hate delay in all its forms. I always think that if anything is not done as promised, I am denied of the happiness of a fulfilled expectation. Delay angers me.
I get mad over people who do things lackadaisically, to me it means they dont care about the usefulness of their work, they dont love their work, or they just dont care about the people who will make use of their work. I get mad when nurses asssist a patient as if they just need to get the work over with, I hate it when they dont care when the patient is in pain when they stuck a needle to her arm, and when they dont care whether she is cold or warm..
I hate to say things twice, or to give a command the second time. I expect excellence from every worker, or at least an effort to achieve excellence, and that means there is no delay, there is quality of service, and a love for work.

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The same sun that hardens a pile of clay softens a handful of butter
The same kindness shown to a person can harden his heart and soften another
The same mercy of God that drives people close can also drive away the other
The same action can trigger different reactions depending on the thing’s nature

The Tao speaks of the good and natural way as the right path for man
And Christianity speaks of the law of nature in man that he should follow
Ayn Rand mentioned an ideal man who strived to reach his highest potential
But who is the ideal man who followed the good and natural way which is his nature and who is at his highest potential?
Is he living or slowly progressing? Is he even on this earth or in some heavens that we cannot define?

If the ideal man is not alive, why is he even called a Man?
Can’t we give him another name? Some religions call him a Buddha or bodhisattva, Ayn called him John Galt, but what is he made of that no one has ever touched him?
Shall we not find the ideal man within ourselves? Is it just a piece of us or the whole of us?

Or shall we call him a god higher than our present state?
Where is he?
Has he already walked upon this earth?

Isn’t our search for society’s progress simply a search for this ideal man among us?
Can we find him among the crowds or is he a lone, solitary man?
Where is he? Are we in search of a philosopher known for wisdom, or a prophet?
Is he a good leader or a politician? Is he as ordinary as the carpenter or as great as a hero?
Is he a rebel who stands for his rights or a law abider at all costs?
What is the very nature of the ideal man that we are looking for?
Should he melt to the warmth of kindness or shall he be hardened by its subtlety?
Will he be governed by justice or will mercy overcome his judgment?
If an ideal man exists, why do we look for him when we are all different from each other?
Is this a vain search for nothing more than a melted cheese?

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