Money Matters

I think I'm the wrong person to talk to when it comes to money. I either use it, or give it away, according to my budget.

I know how to budget, but I save just enough for emergency purposes, hardly for any investment. I live within my means. If I don't have much at a given time, I'd know how to limit myself in all aspects

I try not to live on credit. That is why I don't lend much. My mind is so fixed at the assumption that other people are and should strive to be self-sufficient. I can hardly sleep when I know I owe somebody some amount that I try my best to pay the person immediately.

I am inflexible when it comes to lending-- aside from not having enough budget for it. And since I've grown with the inflexibility of trusting people's vows and promises, I get badly disappointed and stressed when they don't fulfill it at the time they said they're gonna do it.. I may be called narrow-minded or lacking in empathy, but that is just how my mind was wired. If I get stressed because somebody disappointed me with a delayed fulfillment of a promise, or the entire breach of it--- i tend to hurl the frustration back at the person by talking bluntly, saying something like "I am stressed and badly disappointed by your so many excuses for not paying me each time I ask you--- why can't you just budget things for yourself--- so that you don't have to make people suffer like this? Perhaps you need a change of lifestyle?"

I can be that direct and frank about my feelings that I could really ruin a lot of connections. A bad thing in business maybe.

It's just that when it comes business, I am often reminded by this verse:
" Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody."- 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12

And I may be putting this verse out of context sometimes-- all because I don't want to be fooled or outplayed, or taken advantage of.

It's not always a good thing to be defensive at all times, I know, but when you know you can no longer rely on anyone to defend or uphold your rights for you--- you just have to put some boundaries, some limits to things..

Relationships matter, yes.. They matter more than money.. But money matters often reveal the kind of people you come in contact with, since money is, sadly, the way of life these days. You can give judgment or mercy--- with money.

So to set things in order, my mind has been accustomed to certain boundaries and limits set by some principles ingrained in it.

We are meant to be fruitful-- to be productive--- in all our ways. Business is simply income minus expenditures. A debt or liability is part of the expenditures. You can only gain so much with the least amount of expenditures as much as possible.

I guess it's the same principle applied to health and the maintenance of the environment. One can be healthy by having enough energy--- by providing enough resources for your bodily needs--- and efficiently using energy and not wasting it to stressful or wasteful habits.

We can help maintain a good environment for us to healthily exist and increase upon--- not by taking so much from it, by wasting too much of the resources of the earth through mass production without even having enough land to dump our garbages and excesses into---- but by giving back to the earth--- our respect for the creations and creatures that live in it--- so that it can thrive along with us.. and help us live and be productive. It's a give and take thing...just like love..

And to end this quite long exposition, let me leave you with this:

"Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law."
Romans 13:7-9

At any given moment, we must strive to be debt-free, but for as long as we are living, we owe LOVE to each and everyone.. a quite hard thing to realize when it comes to people who we are not in good terms with... but that is some sort of a command... a spiritual law--- that will most often haunt us, and knock at the door of our hearts.

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A girl disembodied


Reading...

With the sound of the Beatles from the far end of the room

Knees on the floor

Gazing up the skies

Quite near

Quite uneasy

Amusement and longing lingering

I was in a room

With cabinets safely and neatly fixed on walls

With birds chirping from beneath the skies

Leaves crawling onto the window sills

Sunlight inching its way through every space

The face of God staring at my image

And called me

a little girl

"I'll follow you everywhere"

A picture of a mother and daughters

Blending well with the euphony of wind chimes

My own, where?

Where is my own melody

When they're all coming from the jagged edges of my memory

Staying like a vanishing cheshire cat's grin (June 21,2009)

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Pamilyang Pinoy

May lumalayas

May bumabalik

Pagkatapos manganak

May tinuturing na suwail at sinusumpa

Merong simpleng paborito

May sunud sunuran

May nag kukunwaring lider

At umaangkin ng kapangyarihan

May nang aabuso

May pabaya

May nakaka alam na hindi nagsasalita

May pekeng pagmamahal

May pag ibig na di nakakalimutan

May tunay na nag aalala

Meron namang walang paki alam

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Gift

I sent you a gift

wrapped in cottons and twigs

but you didnt look to see

whats inside

instead noticed how the twigs

were designed

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Stuck

I am stuck in the box,

you have carefully prepared

As a gift to yourself,

you have faithfully adored

And when I've grown out its size

You were dismayed by surprise

that the box you have adorned

turned to pieces you despised

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